10 TIME WASTERS THAT ARE ROBBING YOU OF JOY.

Time is our most valuable resource.

We only get so much (in this lifetime anyway) and once you use it, it’s gone.

You can’t go to the time bank and take more out or save some extra time for a rainy day, you only get what you get and you don’t even get to know how much that is!

Yet, we use it so carelessly.

I know people who won’t spend a dime without serious thought and speculation, but when it comes to time it’s like a free for all.

You may have thought this article was going to be about Facebook and cellphones and yes they can most definitely be considered time wasters, but what we don’t realize is how many things we do unconsciously that waste our precious time.

They drop our vibrations, suck out our energy, which makes us feel tired and takes us further away from everything that we really want, but with a little self awareness you can turn them around.

Below are my top 10 time wasters that are robbing you of joy.

1. WORRY

“Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” (not sure who said this, but it’s true.)

There is zero, ZERO, benefit to worrying.

It won’t prevent something bad from happening. It won’t prepare you for something bad happening. All it does is give a LOT of attention to what you don’t want to happen.

ANTIDOTE:

Start picturing what you DO want to happen or even just focus on something that feels good. Like a favorite memory or visualization for the future. Gratitude works here too.

2. FEAR

Fear is not going anywhere and it definitely has a place, but it can really put a damper on things when you’re going for what you want.

Trying to “overcome” or dissolve it is an even bigger time waster than feeling it. The best (most sane) thing to do is to learn how to manage it.

You’re the boss.

ANTIDOTE(S):

You can let it pass through you, feel it and then do it anyway, it only lasts about 90 seconds physiologically unless you keep it going by focusing on it.

OR

You can get over yourself.

Take your focus off of YOU and what ‘might’ happen and redirect it to the task at hand or what you want to happen. The outcome, the person you’re helping or the reason why you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing in the first place.

3. REGRET

Regretting a choice doesn’t get it back and it doesn’t make it different.

The only thing it does is increase feelings of missing out or messing up, but it doesn’t change a damn thing. Not doing it again or going for it next time, does.

ANTIDOTE:

Chalk it up to a learning experience. Realize you can make a different choice next time and move on.

4. TRYING TO PLEASE OTHERS OR GAIN THEIR APPROVAL.

You will NEVER please everyone and trying to has the power to suck any and all joy from the core of your being.

Please you and be you. That’s the only way you’ll attract the right peeps and relationships into your life and biz and it’s the only way you’ll ever truly be happy.

ANTIDOTE:

Get clear on your intention.

Whenever I’m about to make a move or make a decision in my biz or my life, I always check in with my intention. The why behind whatever it is I’m doing.

I make sure it’s what I want to do and that I will feel good about it.

There is no greater sense of freedom than not caring what others think.

5. BLAME.

Aka = THE most disempowering thing you can do for yourself.

When you blame someone, or an outside circumstance for something that is going on in your life, you literally give away all of your power and give up all control to create the life that you want.

Things will happen throughout life that are beyond your control, but your reaction and response to those things, how you handle them, how you behave, is ALWAYS a choice and always in your control.

ANTIDOTE:

Taking responsibility for your actions and the role you played. Owning your response or reaction to the situation. What you did or didn’t do or say.

This is the first and absolutely crucial step to intentionally and deliberately creating your life.

6. THE NEED TO BE RIGHT.

I read a lot and I love to learn. It’s probably my favorite thing to do on earth, besides tanning.

But I frequently find myself in situations where someone argues a topic with me that I’m well versed in based solely on their opinion or theory instead of factual information.

This used to drive me CRAZY… (which was precisely why I kept finding myself there.)

Trying to convince someone who is not open or not ready to receive what I want to say or teach causes ME unnecessary stress and I’ve come to the conclusion that being right is not worth the extra belly fat.

ANTIDOTE:

Choose kindness instead. (thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer)

Instead of trying to stop myself from feeling the need to be right or trying to convince them that I am, I now consciously ask how can I be kind or compassionate and I turn my attention toward them.

I focus on how they’re feeling, try to empathize and see it from their perspective and I let go.

None of it really matters anyway.

7. DOING THINGS YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO DO.

Yes. Occasionally there are things in life we need to do that wouldn’t be our first choice, I get that, but you’re more in control than you think and you can dramatically decrease them if you want to.

I rarely do things I don’t want to do. If I’m doing something I don’t want to do it’s because a loved one is in need or it involves the IRS.

ANTIDOTE:

Stopping.

Seriously, just stop.

If that freaks you out and you’re not sure about whether or not you should do it, again, get clear on the intention behind what you’re doing.

WHY are you doing it? What is the underlying result, outcome or emotion that you want? Does it make you feel less or different than how you’d like to feel?

If it’s to please someone else, gain approval or has nothing to do with what you want in life, work or how you want to spend the weekend, Just. Don’t. Do it.

Delete, say no, cross it off your list.

Yes, it can be this easy and look, you just made space for more of what you DO want to do.

 8. HANGING W/ PEEPS WHO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU

Negative energy sucking vampires will drag you down and keep you there.

Consciously surround yourself with people who appreciate you and uplift you.

The toxicity of keeping negative people around is just not worth it.

It’s like trading your morning green juice for a big glass of high fructose corn syrup sprinkled with aspartame and MSG.

ANTIDOTE:

Ditch ‘em.

That may sound extreme, but you gotta look after you FIRST.  No one else is and if they are tell them to read #4.

I do realize there are instances when it’s not always possible to toss them aside. Like family or your boss or a co-worker, but you can do your best to keep your distance or at the VERY least, don’t engage with them.

If they go off on a negative rant, ignore or refuse to give the reaction they’re looking for. This makes it less fun for them and WAY less exhausting for you.

Before you know it they’ll either change (unlikely) or find someone else who gives the reaction they want.

9 . RESENTMENT

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

Nelson Mandela

BOOM. Enough said.

ANTIDOTE:

Compassion and empathy. (bet you thought I was gonna say forgiveness…)

Forgiveness is the ultimate goal, yes, but trying to see and understand things from the other perspective will make forgiveness a lot easier.

10. GUILT

The most toxic of them all. It’s like slow suicide.

Guilt (ie. self punishment) will never change what happened or what you did or didn’t do and it does nothing to make things better for the other parties involved.

It is 1000% pointless.

All it does it wreak havoc on your own system. Physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically.

It’s one of the heaviest emotions and if you’ve been carrying it around for a while you will feel like a new person if you let it go.

ANTIDOTE:

Compassion and empathy for YOURSELF. Forgiving YOURSELF.

Now it’s your turn…

Anything look familiar or ring a bell? Which vibe killing joy robber are you going to abolish?

Share in the comments below.

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THEN GET YOUR SHARE ON.

CHECK OUT THE COMMENTS BELOW OR ADD YOUR OWN

  1. Candy

    What a “timely” blog! I am an educator so I have had plenty of free time this summer and accomplished very little. I spin my wheels for ALL of the reasons above. As much as I know better and hate to admit it, fear has kept me from doing what I need to do. I’m going to bookmark this blog and refer to it over the next four weeks. Great insight. Guess I’d better go do some homework…

    Reply
  2. Beth

    You’re tricky … I totally thought this was going to be a productivity article. I found I was fighting a lot with #8 (negative people, ie, ranting coworkers). I don’t hang out with them but I’m exposed to their negativity daily. Ironically, one of them is going off right now as I type this.

    I was talking about this to a wise woman I know, and she said that when I find myself in those situations, to check in with myself and say, “Is this mine?” Is the energy I’m taking on mine or hers? I found just by doing that I can say, “no, it’s not mine,” and disengage. And then I visualize putting up a sort of emotional shield. It actually helps!

    Reply
    1. Susan Post author

      Ha! I love surprises Beth… can’t give it all away in the headline! 😉 And yes other people can be tough, but I LOVE you’re solution. I will be trying that one out for myself!

      Reply
  3. Anna Long-Stokes

    Oh man, this is a great list! Some I was like “oh yeah…I totally don’t do that anymore” and then the others…well, let’s just say I could take a big break from them! Once thing I’ve noticed is that as I’ve gotten old, many of these have petered out to almost complete non-existence. “Time” became something much more valuable to me as I moved into my late 20’s and 30’s…and that realization has made the most impact in my bad habits! 😉

    Reply
  4. silvia

    Susan, Love that you have an antidote for each of these. This would be a great article to submit to Mind Body Green. Of course you would have to change it up because they accept only original content and since this list is rather wonderful…I don’t know how you would change it…except maybe combine them…just a thought.

    As a student of ACIM for many years, these are all (as you probably know) examples of fear. And fear always comes from our ego mind which never solves anything. It simply projects it out. So I love your antidotes because they solve each one using some form of love and forgiveness which is the ultimate antidote.

    Thanks Susan for breaking these pesky human tendencies.

    Reply
  5. Leanne Chesser

    Susan, I totally agree!! I love that you included number four :). “Please you and be you. That’s the only way you’ll attract the right peeps and relationships into your life and biz and it’s the only way you’ll ever truly be happy.” Exactly. Well said and awesome post about things most people don’t consider as typical time wasters. They definitely are, though!

    Reply
  6. Teri

    Wow, I’m sharing this.. I know so may people who need to read this! This is an amazing blog. #8 is my favorite when I think of others and how they stress over this exact point! Thank you for putting this out there, so much timely wisdom here!

    Reply
  7. Stacey

    What a great post! I follow most of these, but definitely felt most empowered when I got rid of negative people in my life. Thanks for sharing this. Also, I love your bold design, it really speaks to the tone of your blog and confident personality. – Stacey

    Reply
    1. Susan Post author

      Thanks so much Stacey! And I hear you on the negative peeps. It can be a tough one, but it makes a HUGE difference.

      Reply
    1. Susan Post author

      Thanks Sabrina! One of my favorite quotes is “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody” by Bill Cosby.

      Reply
  8. Sam

    what a fantastic list!
    I used to always need to be right, but have let that one go. I still sometime worry or am fearful, so am working on those. And no doubt the other ones trip me up plenty!
    I love that Wayne Dwyer quote that if you have to choose between kindness and being right, choose kindness.
    xx

    Reply
  9. Hunter Yoga (@HunterCYoga)

    Yes, important to remember! It’s very easy for us to get wrapped up in the above. It’s doesn’t take much effort to focus on flaws and problems thanks to our evolutionary negativity bias. Focusing on what’s good, kind, and beautiful takes practice and effort. Every day. Thanks for the post!

    Reply

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