Still don’t have what you want?

You’ve done your gratitude lists, said your affirmations, forgave everyone on the planet and you stare at your vision board every damn day, but STILL no signs of your desire becoming your reality.

If there are no signs of synchronicity to affirm that your desire is on it’s way and you feel just as stuck and frozen as ever, then chances are you have a “block”.

Blocks or “upper limit problems” as Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap likes to call them, are simply limiting beliefs that make your SubC feel unsafe about creating or receiving whatever it is that you want.

If your Sub C is NOT on board with your desire, it will NOT become your reality.

All of those tools I mentioned above are used to help lower resistance and get your SubC on board with your desire, but if you feel no movement then you’re missing something.

Self awareness is power.

When you’re aware of what’s holding you back you can then tailor those tools toward what will help your SubC feel at ease about the change.

Below are 3 of the questions I use to help my clients (and myself!) find hidden blocks.

# 1 What’s the pay off? Meaning, what’s the advantage of staying where you are?

Maybe you really want your own business, but you’re burn out from your corporate job and even though you want it so bad you can taste it a small part of you is afraid that having any success will take away whatever freedom and energy you have left.

That my friends is a big fat red light on the road toward your desire and it points to a belief that you have to “work hard for success”

This is also a great question to ask when you’re trying to stop procrastinating.

#2 What’s the ripple effect? Who or what else would having this affect?

Scan the people in your life (the ones you care about). What do you think would happen to them or how would their life change if  your desire became a reality?

Maybe you’re not afraid of losing freedom and energy, but if you have all of that success will you out shine someone else that you care about?

It’s very common to SubConsciously keep ourselves “small” in order not to risk making someone we care about feel threatened by our success.

Or maybe you feel like if you move to your paradise dream island you will be leaving someone behind who may need you in some way.

Or do you believe that your spouse will have to work harder if you work less?

#3 What or who will you have to let go of in order to do, be or have what you want?

If you want to sell all of your stuff and travel the world would you have to give up the security of knowing where your next pay check is coming from?

If you’re no longer happy in your relationship will you have to let go of the person you are with now if you speak up and commit to what really what you want?

These fears are no joke and they definitely have enough power to keep you exactly where you are, but the first step to moving past them is to find them and admit that they’re even there.

Once you find what’s holding you back you can begin to work through overcoming it.

Sometimes just realizing it’s there is enough to shift your thinking and sometimes you need to do some work to show your SubC it’s safe to move forward with whatever it is that you want.

Now I want to hear from you:

I’m excited for you to use these questions on yourself to find hidden blocks. Get clear on your desire then ask away.

Tell me what you find in the comments below!




  1. Marie Overfors

    Stepping out and growing is risky stuff! I think the reptile brain in me likes the status quo… prefers the devil I know, you might say.

    That’s my upper limit challenge. But after I finally wrangle my reptile brain/SubC into the corner and take action, *voila* I’m so glad I did. The risks shrink to the size of sand grains.

    Love this post.

  2. Leanne Chesser

    These are great questions. The payoff one has been great for me. There’s always a payoff for our beliefs or behavior. Things can really change when we become aware of that, work through it and make changes.

    1. Susan Post author

      It’s amazing how much easier change can be with a little self awareness. The payoff is my fave too Leanne.

  3. nichole

    Powerful questions Susan.

    I just used pen and paper to answer mine “properly” and I can see how some of my back-end thoughts about success can be holding me back.

    The surprise was that my answers were quite different today than they were a few months back, when I did a similar exercise as part of a mentoring program I was part of, so I would also suggest going back to these questions whenever you need to refresh your energy around a particular subject/goal.

    Thanks for sharing girl, your posts are always inspiring.

    1. Susan Post author

      Love that you did that! And yes, so true. Our answers can and will change as we do. I check in with these questions every time I’m going for something new and it hasn’t shown up yet. Thank you 😀

  4. silvia

    Great questions Susan! I find that regardless of all the whys and whats…they always point to SubC guilt! And of course…guilt, the mainstay of the ego ALWAYS looks to punishment and it’s a tricky little devil, making even what appears to be progress into later sabotage.

    1. Susan Post author

      Yes… guilt is a tough one for many people. That’s why awareness is key! Thanks for reading Silvia 🙂

  5. Desiree East

    These are exactly the type of blocks/questions that my clients end up having to ask themselves when it comes to creating meaningful art – and especially when the ego mind tries to prevent you from creating something new, because, “Hey, I’ve NEVER done this before…are you trying to trick me?” Our brains work in mysterious ways, don’t they?

    1. Susan Post author

      Yes they do indeed… I was a designer and it’s so easy to get stuck in a creative comfort zone. That’s such a great way to stretch your clients!

    1. Susan Post author

      Great question Malaika!

      All parts of consciousness need to be on board for change to happen.

      The SubCs one and only job is to keep you safe and alive. When it’s holding you back, it’s out of love. It needs to feel safe and secure that you will be ok in order for change to happen.

      You can ask your SuperC or even your SubC for guidance and you should, but if you’re still unclear these Qs will help create awareness so you know exactly where to focus in order to get all parts of consciousness on board for change and growth. Make sense?

      Let me know if you need more explanation!

  6. Sara

    That’s so interesting…
    I had two recent nutrition graduates comes visit me yesterday for “advice” – and that book came up. I had never heard of it and I JUST ordered it. (Now I’m very excited. – Glass ceiling – watch out!)
    And it’s at an interesting time. Makes you really wonder what REALLY holds us back. Fear of success? Fear of no success? I don’t know…fear regardless. I have just made a huge leap and joined a (very expensive) mastermind group that gives me no choice. I have to be successful. I must be able to pay for this, contribute to this, make this work. It’s the most excited and afraid I’ve ever been in my life.
    I can’t wait to remove these “blocks”. Thanks for the post. It came at an interesting time 🙂

    1. Susan Post author

      Love that synchronicity Sara! Glad you got something out of it. Have fun with your new mastermind, sounds exciting!

  7. Beth

    I just read that book, too. Good stuff. For me, numbers 2 & 3 can be sticking points. They actually work together. For example, if I “go for it,” how will my family and friends feel? Should I just stay “safe” so they don’t feel envious? Which leads into number 3 – what do I need to let go of (some relationships?)? I am moving forward, so I guess I will find out!

  8. Viki Stanley-Hutchison

    Susan, great post. I always love the question model for resolving stuck places, and the “Who else would it affect” question really brought up a lot of stuff I didn’t even realize was there. Thanks so much for sharing this. ~Viki

  9. Brenda

    Susan, this is a great post to help me think deeply about my goals. I will have to get “the big leap” and investigate my “blocks”. Thank you!

  10. Cathy

    Good Qs, Susan. I often ask myself the first one, but neglect the other two. They are definitely the scarier ones: do I feel safer playing small, being unhealthy,…whatever it is, because changing might uproot the status quo. Such an important piece of the puzzle.

  11. Janine

    Love the question approach to finding out what your blocks really are. One of my business mentors said this on the topic of safety/risk (which still sticks with me to this day): “Instead of dwelling on the potential for failure, think about the possibility of success.”

    I try to grab onto that whenever I feel blocks creeping up and I’m about to take a big leap. Great post!


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