I come from a long line of worriers. I mean my family knows how to worry like it’s their JOB.

I definitely inherited some of that and since I’ve spent the past 20 years on studying and deliberately practicing the Law of Attraction, I’ve realized how important our seemingly innocent thoughts are to creating the life we want. (or don’t want)

I promise you, and I speak from experience, there is no point to worry and negative self talk.

Here’s what I mean.

Worry will never prevent something bad from happening and it will also never prepare you for the worst. All it does is breed more worry which makes you feel like shit in the present and helps you to attract more of that shitty feeling into your life.

Same with self critique-ing.

Thoughts that bash and belittle yourself won’t help you achieve your goals, they won’t make you any better on the outside and they definitely aren’t doing anything good for you on the inside.

They will also just attract more people, scenarios and situations that affirm those untrue negative thoughts about yourself.

One of my fave quotes is:Screen Shot 2014-04-16 at 9.47.03 AM

For a visual of how powerful your thoughts are, you can check out Dr. Emoto’s famous water experiment.

It shows how our thoughts and intentions change and affect water. Our bodies are made up of over 65% water.

You do the math.

Truth be told even the most positive of people have negative thoughts from time to time, we’re human. BUT you can definitely learn to manage them.

When we were young, if my sister and I had a nightmares or were scared for whatever reason my mom would calm us down by telling us to think about Christmas morning or our family vacations at the Shore, two very happy, fun times for us.

She would even talk it through so we had a clear visual. It was like guide visualization. (Love that woman!)

By turning our focus to happy, more positive thoughts (which feel so much better) our stress response was immediately shut down and our relax response was triggered.

This allowed more good thoughts and feelings to flow to us and through us.

To this day whenever I want to get myself out of a negative thought pattern or some useless worry and tension I can go to those or other feel good memories to pull me out of the loop.

Below are 3 Steps you can use to start getting rid of negative thoughts for yourself.


Make this list a head of time.

When you’re worrying or thinking negative thoughts about yourself it’s a lot harder to find positive, happy thoughts in that moment. Being prepared dramatically increases your chances of successfully building a new habit.

You can use old memories, accomplishments and successes, day dreams of what you want for the future, people you love, admire or appreciate or even humor.

Especially humor.

You know how something funny happens, like someone falls or bumps into something (usually me) and you can make yourself laugh out loud just by reliving it in your head?

Use one of those.

A funny youtube vid or movie scene can work too.


Next you need to start becoming aware of your negative thoughts. Negative thoughts can be sneaky, hidden bastards so you need to pay attention.

Part of the problem is that we don’t even realize when those negative tapes are playing on repeat in our head. And those repeats are creating our life! This is IMPORTANT peeps!

If you’re not sure where to begin, start with first noticing how you feel.

Feeling tense and anxious? What did you just think about? You job? Your low bank account? A certain person….?

Our emotions are the effect of our thoughts. Thoughts are the cause and sometimes it can be easier to notice the feeling first, but do what works for you.


When you find the negative thought, let it go. Literally watch it float out of your head (because it can, easy peasy).

Then choose to insert the new thought, memory or day dream etc…

Remember this process is a practice, like building a muscle. It’s no different than going to the gym when you’re out of shape. At first it can take a lot of effort, but eventually it becomes easier and easier until it’s a habit that you don’t even think about it.

Alright, now it’s your turn.

Have you had success with retraining your negative thinking patterns? If so, how did you do it?

Share in the comments below!




  1. Krista

    This is great! I’m printing this off so I remember these basic steps to keep my focus on where I WANT to go rather than where I want to AVOID going. Thanks!

  2. Nicole

    Thanks for making these tips so accessible to us! I love #1 — when we are in the midst of a negative mindset, it can be so difficult to think of anything good –having a list ready to go to is so helpful!

  3. Allison Carr

    This is such an awesome post! My favorite technique is belly breathing, calms me down right away, and gets me out of my head. Thanks for all the other awesome ideas for this struggle!

  4. nichole

    I am so grateful for this post Susan, especially for the reminder that getting rid of our negative thoughts is actually a process. No magic tricks there!

  5. Lori

    10 long, slow, deep breaths (allowing my belly to completely extend and then completely exhaling). Our families must be related…worry like it is their job ;-)!!

    Great post, Susan!

  6. Beth

    When I catch myself thinking negatively, I visualize a STOP sign. And then I do what you suggest, and try to redirect my thoughts. Great tips!

  7. Dana

    These tips are great! Worry accomplishes nothing. I like to prove my worry is not powerful over me by proving my worry wrong by thinking of positive outcomes. Thanks, Susan. I always look forward to your posts!

  8. Sam

    Great post!
    You’re so right that becoming aware of our thoughts is such an important step. Once you start listening closely to that voice then you sometimes realise how nasty you’re being to yourself!
    I love the idea of writing happy thoughts down to refer back to. I do that with activities (like get outside in the sunshine) as when I’m feeling low I can’t think of a single thing in the whole world that will make me fell better apart from chocolate 😉

  9. Anne Omland

    I always love reading your posts, Susan! I’m working on being a better “thought detective” and recognizing when and how negative thoughts creep in. It’s made a huge difference in how I react and then feel, overall. Thanks for the tips! x

  10. Lisa

    “Worry will never prevent something bad from happening and it will also never prepare you for the worst. ” Love this! Great post and tips. I struggle with this from time to time and it really is such a mind game. Once we are able to control our thoughts, we are then able to take control of our lives. Great things happen!

  11. Sarah Koszyk

    Great quote from Louise Hay. She rocks! Retraining our brains is tough, and it takes conscious effort. Like you said, it is possible. Just let the negative thought go. Thanks for the reminder! Now it’s time to put it into practice every day!


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