HOW TO FEEL POSITIVE WHEN YOU DON’T.

How many times have you heard someone say “you just need to stay positive” when you’re going through a rough time. And how many times did you feel like turning around and bitch slapping them in the face?

As someone who has actually been bitch slapped for saying that, I’ve learned that it can be a lot easier said than done, but it is possible and it is important for attracting what you want.

The reason for trying to remain positive is simply because positive emotions attract more positive emotions into your life.

It’s not that you’re NOT attracting when you’re not positive, you’re just not attracting things or circumstances that will give you more positive emotions.

Remember, underneath all of our desires is an emotion, which is what we’re really after.

Hands down, Gratitude and Love are where you want to be to feel the best. This is where you’ll attract your highest good and the highest good for everyone else, as well as, the planet.

But it can be very hard for us humans to just “feel positive” in an instant, especially if you’re new to all of this.

I’m going to show you an exercise that I’ve used on myself and my peeps with great success, during those tough times when you feel like punching the “stay positive, be grateful fairy” in the face.

I call it “Climbing the Emotional Ladder” and here’s how it works.

Every emotion vibrates at a specific frequency level.

Emotions that feel GOOD vibrate at a higher, faster frequency and emotions that do not feel good vibrate at a lower, slower frequency.

You attract people, circumstances and things with “like” frequencies into your life

Vibrate high, you get more high, vibrate low, you get more low.

What’s super cool is that there’s an actual scale of measured emotional frequencies (shown below) that you can use to slooowy…. inch your way up to the highest vibes of Love/Gratitude when they’re feeling far away from where you are.

emotional-guidance-scale

Here’s an example.

Say you just put yourself out there in your business or in your career with an idea that you were really proud of, you thought for sure it was going to be a home run, BUT as it turns out, you were the only one who thought so.

Chances are you’ll bounce around between #12 Disappointment and #16 Discouragement as you feel the sting, but there will be one prominent emotion that sticks out most to you.

THAT is the one you want to focus on.

Let’s say for the sake of this example it’s #16, Discouragement.

Now that feels like a loooong way from #1 – Love, Gratitude & Joy and it even feels far away from Hopefulness and Optimism.

But it’s not too far from Doubt or Worry is it? And it’s only one rung below Blame.

Here’s the beautiful thing, if you can get yourself up the ladder, even just a rung or 2, you will start to attract at a higher frequency and you will FEEL the difference.

It seems crazy to think an emotion that is still technically negative can actually feel good, but it will if it’s vibing at a higher frequency than the one that you’re currently feeling.

Make sense?

Say you’re ready to get yourself up 1 rung, which would be to #15 Blame, in this case.

Look at the situation from the point of view of that emotion. Basically start blaming things. Outside circumstances, your assistant, not enough time, whatever you need, but then notice how you feel as you step into this new emotion.

It will feel lighter/better than where you just were.

Once you’re comfy in that emotion, give another rung try. You may find as you climb that you can start skipping emotions. That’s fine, for the love of God, don’t force yourself to stay in Pessimism if you’re ready for Hopeful!

Sometimes you can climb in an hour or 2, sometimes you may need a little longer depending on the event and your situation. As long as you’re checking in to see if you’re ready to move up, you’ll be making progress.

To be clear, this isn’t about burying emotions. It’s totally fine and necessary to take some time to process them, but you don’t want dwell there any longer than necessary.

If you need a gauge, allow yourself to dwell there until you’re clear on the lesson and/or the contrast. Contrast meaning what new desire is being highlighted by this negative emotion? What is the result or outcome that you would’ve preferred to experience? Once you find that, you’ll then have more clarity on what you do want.

Remember, you are HUMAN.

Part of being human is feeling a full range of emotion. If you vibed in a constant state of “Love” all the time you’d be on the “other” side!

Our emotions create the contrast in life. Without them we wouldn’t have desire and without desire we’d never grow. So appreciate even the shittiest of emotions for what they will teach you. (see how I slipped gratitude in there? ; )

Now it’s you’re turn…

I would love to hear what you think about this exercise!

Are you going to give it a shot? Does it make “being positive” on a consistent basis feel more do-able to you?

Tell me what you think below in the comments!

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  1. Anne Omland

    This exercise is awesome, Susan! I recently heard someone say that when you feel a negative emotion, instead of feeling guilty (or just plain bad) about feeling that emotion, it’s best to allow it in and then to begin to move past it. So not fighting it, but allowing for it. For a “let’s get going already!” person like me (read: working on my patience), this seems like a great way to actively work up towards the emotion that’ll bring the highest good. As always, love your juicy insights!

    Reply
  2. Melissa

    OHH, Susan! I’m so glad I read this article today. YES. YES. YES, I will be trying this exercise. This is a great example of how far small steps can really move you. Thanks for sharing this advice!

    Reply
  3. Carmen Adriana

    I think I just attracted this post right to me! I just turned in my business plan to my small business counselor and was so excited feeling righteous getting sh*t done and looking cute doing it. Then he told me it will be difficult to get the money I was looking for because blah blah. Cue HUGE puppy dog eyes welling over with tears. Trying to stay positive and not get discouraged. I open my computer and this link is the first on my email. Thank you Gabby Bernstein. And thank you Susan for helping me with a concrete exercise to work through this negative stuff and back to getting my sh*t done!
    Carmen Adriana
    Proprietrix
    FabInjection Wardrobe Salon

    Reply
    1. Susan Post author

      Carmen NO! It does NOT have to be difficult! That’s his belief. Use the hell out of this exercise! You got it, don’t worry. And keep me posted on how it goes! xo

      Reply
  4. Gargi

    ” Part of being human is feeling a full range of emotion. If you vibed in a constant state of “Love” all the time you’d be on the “other” side! ” I love this Susan!!

    Sometimes we try to get to Love without acknowledging the lower emotions and soon enough they surface. It has to be a gradual process. This list is a great reminder.
    Thank you !!

    Reply
  5. James

    Hi Susan,

    This is my first time on your blog, and I must confess that your content will be highly helpful to me.
    From what I have read on this topic from your blog, I think its always a good thing to have a counselor in anything one is doing, most especially during trying periods.

    This is obviously what we are lacking in Africa (I’m from Nigeria); and the churches are not even helping matters but rather to milk people dry of their emotions and hard earned money.

    We need people like you and your teachings.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  6. Deah Robinson

    Susan,

    This is such a great exercise. I think a lot of time, people think if they are feeling really crappy and depressed they are supposed to be able to swing to other side of the pendulum of being joyful. Emotions are a continuum, or a scale like you listed and it’s a better practice to just try to feel a little better than to continue to beat ourselves up for not being able to feel great! Another practice I like to use when I am not feeling great is to try and create moments when I don’t feel crappy. Even if it’s just for 2 minutes… I will watch a funny YouTube video or call a good friend. I might be back to where I was before, but the slight shift in energy makes another shift easier!

    Reply
  7. Ursula

    It made me realize how emotions are always around us or rather with us and how oftentimes we don’t even realize that we are dealing with an emotion. But just reading this should help to pinpoint them easier and deal with them.

    Reply

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