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HOW TO FEEL POSITIVE WHEN YOU DON’T.
How many times have you heard someone say “you just need to stay positive” when you’re going through a rough time. And how many times did you feel like turning around and bitch slapping them in the face?
As someone who has actually been bitch slapped for saying that, I’ve learned that it can be a lot easier said than done, but it is possible and it is important for attracting what you want.
The reason for trying to remain positive is simply because positive emotions attract more positive emotions into your life.
It’s not that you’re NOT attracting when you’re not positive, you’re just not attracting things or circumstances that will give you more positive emotions.
Remember, underneath all of our desires is an emotion, which is what we’re really after.
Hands down, Gratitude and Love are where you want to be to feel the best. This is where you’ll attract your highest good and the highest good for everyone else, as well as, the planet.
But it can be very hard for us humans to just “feel positive” in an instant, especially if you’re new to all of this.
I’m going to show you an exercise that I’ve used on myself and my peeps with great success, during those tough times when you feel like punching the “stay positive, be grateful fairy” in the face.
I call it “Climbing the Emotional Ladder” and here’s how it works.
Every emotion vibrates at a specific frequency level.
Emotions that feel GOOD vibrate at a higher, faster frequency and emotions that do not feel good vibrate at a lower, slower frequency.
You attract people, circumstances and things with “like” frequencies into your life
Vibrate high, you get more high, vibrate low, you get more low.
What’s super cool is that there’s an actual scale of measured emotional frequencies (shown below) that you can use to slooowy…. inch your way up to the highest vibes of Love/Gratitude when they’re feeling far away from where you are.
Here’s an example.
Say you just put yourself out there in your business or in your career with an idea that you were really proud of, you thought for sure it was going to be a home run, BUT as it turns out, you were the only one who thought so.
Chances are you’ll bounce around between #12 Disappointment and #16 Discouragement as you feel the sting, but there will be one prominent emotion that sticks out most to you.
THAT is the one you want to focus on.
Let’s say for the sake of this example it’s #16, Discouragement.
Now that feels like a loooong way from #1 – Love, Gratitude & Joy and it even feels far away from Hopefulness and Optimism.
But it’s not too far from Doubt or Worry is it? And it’s only one rung below Blame.
Here’s the beautiful thing, if you can get yourself up the ladder, even just a rung or 2, you will start to attract at a higher frequency and you will FEEL the difference.
It seems crazy to think an emotion that is still technically negative can actually feel good, but it will if it’s vibing at a higher frequency than the one that you’re currently feeling.
Say you’re ready to get yourself up 1 rung, which would be to #15 Blame, in this case.
Look at the situation from the point of view of that emotion. Basically start blaming things. Outside circumstances, your assistant, not enough time, whatever you need, but then notice how you feel as you step into this new emotion.
It will feel lighter/better than where you just were.
Once you’re comfy in that emotion, give another rung try. You may find as you climb that you can start skipping emotions. That’s fine, for the love of God, don’t force yourself to stay in Pessimism if you’re ready for Hopeful!
Sometimes you can climb in an hour or 2, sometimes you may need a little longer depending on the event and your situation. As long as you’re checking in to see if you’re ready to move up, you’ll be making progress.
To be clear, this isn’t about burying emotions. It’s totally fine and necessary to take some time to process them, but you don’t want dwell there any longer than necessary.
If you need a gauge, allow yourself to dwell there until you’re clear on the lesson and/or the contrast. Contrast meaning what new desire is being highlighted by this negative emotion? What is the result or outcome that you would’ve preferred to experience? Once you find that, you’ll then have more clarity on what you do want.
Remember, you are HUMAN.
Part of being human is feeling a full range of emotion. If you vibed in a constant state of “Love” all the time you’d be on the “other” side!
Our emotions create the contrast in life. Without them we wouldn’t have desire and without desire we’d never grow. So appreciate even the shittiest of emotions for what they will teach you. (see how I slipped gratitude in there? ; )
Now it’s you’re turn…
I would love to hear what you think about this exercise!
Are you going to give it a shot? Does it make “being positive” on a consistent basis feel more do-able to you?